The Warmth and The Cold


I have always wondered how the people who stay in Polar Regions feel about the warmth and the tropical climate. Do they despise it, do they envy it, do they long for it, or are they just blissfully unaware of how the warmth may feel? I guess they must be aware about how the warmth may feel, how beautiful the bloomed flowers and the sweet fruits may smell, how beautifully the birds may sing and the warmth of the tropical sunshine may feel.

Let’s take for example someone who has been forever been in tropical regions and is unaware of a place like Polar Regions. Let us say the person’s name is W. So W has been in tropical regions all the while where it enjoys the sunshine, the rains and the mildly pleasant winters as well. W is used to seeing the dense green forests, hearing the chirping of the birds every morning, the sweet taste of the fruits the trees bear and the sight of the radiantly colourful flowers.

W was gradually being pushed to the colder regions from the tropical regions without it realizing so. While W was unaware that the path it has taken is leading it to the cold, there was another someone named C, who belonged to the colder regions but had once been to the tropical regions. So, W was on its way to the Polar Regions but the change was so gradual that W was actually enjoying the journey from warmth to the cold.

The picture changed but very slowly for W to not realize where it was heading as it was going in that direction for the first time as against C. Eventually W reached the Polar Regions and since it was a complete change in scenery it actually enjoyed the change. The snow, however cold it was, looked beautiful and gleaming and W was soon lost in the beauty of it. Incidentally W reached the Polar region when they were enjoying the best of weather there and so W assumed that the weather remains such for the entire time.

W was enjoying the cool as against the constant warmth of the tropic; the seclusion from the world was playing to the advantage of its mental health. Time and tide waits for none and so the weather of the tropic started going towards the winters. W soon realized that the days are getting shorter only to realize that there will be darkness half year round in this part of the world which it had never seen. Finally W gave in to the cold winter only to realize how beautiful the part of the world in which it lived was.

W learned a lesson the hard way that we may not be entirely happy with our own world, there are other parts of the world where someone else was is in darkness for what may seem like infinity and went back to the warmth.

On the other side there is C which primarily belonged to the Polar Region. C had been leading a life braving extreme weathers all thru and it was used to harshest of the weathers. C had once crossed over to the greener side by the way of luck. C initially refused to accept that there can be some place on earth with such abundance and its mind just could not digest the beautiful colours, the sweet smelling flowers and fruits and the ever chirping birds. All this seems superficial to C who was used to seeing the beautiful but cold snow which had its own colours and the darkness that engulfed their world for half of the year. C enjoyed the tropical forests but always thought of it as superficial and lived in awe and amazement.

C was pushed back to the Polar Regions from the tropical regions suddenly one fine day during its first visit to the tropical forests. C returned to its original world and continued to brave the harsh weather and live a content life. C also enjoyed the comparatively pleasant weather but never took it for granted. Struggle was taken as a part and parcel of life and seldom was complained about.

Unlike the first time, when C went to the tropics incidentally, it voluntarily walked over to the tropics this time to enjoy the greenery, fruits and flowers. C had its doubts about the tropics being superficial and untrue but was tempted to walk over to the other side nevertheless. Initially, C was welcomed into the tropics and enjoyed the sunshine, the warmth and the flora with thinned down inhibitions deep down in its mind. The flowers looked brighter and the fruits smelled and tasted sweeter this time around. C started depending too much on the tropics to provide whatever it wished and the dependence grew by the day since the tropic was able to provide most of the things C wished for. The greenery and the abundance had started blinding C and the memories of the struggle back in the pole starting wearing out. The nagging doubt of the tropics being superficial watered down to the thinnest this time but remained. C decided to enjoy the weather and the flowers and fruits till it lasted.

Little did C know that the end to this was coming sooner than expected. Soon C was made aware by itself that the warmth was not for it and it had to return to the harsh winters of the pole. The easy prosperity was not something that was made for C and it had to fight for its own survival. As against the first time, C had formed and built a world full of expectations around the tropics which was exactly opposite to the life at the Polar Regions. The Polar Regions with the extreme weather made C value even the minutest things which it took for granted in the Tropical regions. The world of the expectations shattered and C was pushed back to the Polar Regions with a jerk.

While in the Polar Regions, W learned that we should count our blessings, C learned not to build a world of expectations on external factors and that one should build a world by itself with its own struggle while in the Tropical Regions. Life will teach us such lessons when we cross over to the other part of the world, the point is to not take anything for granted and to not but expectations on easy things. Some people are built to live in the abundance of tropics while others are built to struggle for their existence!





Imagine you have got a promotion and a great raise; you are bouncing with joy who is the first person you wish to give this great news to? It might be your parents, your better half (all categories namely already, would be, you wish would be and other permutations you may think of ;-)). While you may have a list of people you wish to inform immediately there will also be a list of people like, “can and will be informed tomorrow/on weekend”, “why should I tell them?”, “will tell them if they ask” or some people who simply do not fit in any of such lists.

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Image Source :

I strongly believe that the best way to make someone feel unwanted and ignored is by hiding things from them whereby giving them limited access to your life and things related to it. It’s both small and big things, keeping a plan under wraps, hiding a good news, a big purchase or simply dampening the excitement of a person by responding coldly and many such things. Basically it’s about how close the people in the situation are or they wish to portray by giving them the desired access.

I am sure most of us will agree that it does annoy us when something is hidden from us on purpose or otherwise and especially when you do not expect it from the person doing it. So again the base line moves to expectations! How much ever we try, we really can’t stop expecting from people around, especially if they mean something to us. If that person means more to us than anyone else or everyone else put together then our plight is unexplainable when they make us feel unwanted.

Most Unwanted Image

These situations become more complicated in the Great Indian Families. Matters become complicated when things are hidden and eventually the relationship turns sour and it applies both to pleasant and unpleasant events. It is relatively simpler but graver when in between a couple. From expectations for including each other in most of the things is not fulfilled, it leads to mistrust and eventually to bitterness between the two. The Spear Of Words are aimed at each other with the most practiced moves and sometimes with raw power and rage which they never knew existed. Imagine a husband and wife making each other feel that they are not a part of each other’s plans and do not have access to each other’s life.

Sometimes more than the anger, it is the disappointment that kills us. The disappointment of not including us in the plans, making us feels left out and basically unwanted. As human beings we crave to be accepted, loved and wanted in various social circles including friends, family or for that matter the society as a whole. We seek recognition in various ways sometimes by the means of materialistic things or the other times in our achievements. An applause, a few kind words, a few words of praise and the feeling that someone is proud of us makes life bearable if not wonderful. These things are expected more from the people who matter to us and the feeling of recognition from them assures and sometimes reassures us that we matter equally to them too.

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Image Source –

When people who matter to us make us feel unwanted brings with it lot of pain, broken expectations and sadness which is a little difficult to take at times. The feeling that someone else is more important to them than us makes us feel depressed to no extent, especially in a relationship of a couple.  The feelings are more intense when the couple is estranged and at its peak when the separation is fresh! Although the intensity with which it hits them will depend on lot of factors such as since how long the two people are separated, how was the relationship, how long have they been together, in what conditions were they separated, was it mutual or messy separation so on and so forth.

I feel the medicine to broken expectations is acceptance. The acceptance that you are no longer a part of some people’s plan may reduce the anxiety inside of us. Saying that do not have expectations will sound a bit too saintly especially coming from me, but I do it on purpose sometimes. I just don’t expect people to include me in all their plans or that they will participate and be enthusiastic about all the plans I make. Ohh I see a halo appearing on my head now :-D. On a serious note, it does help. Accept and move on!