The Warmth and The Cold

 

I have always wondered how the people who stay in Polar Regions feel about the warmth and the tropical climate. Do they despise it, do they envy it, do they long for it, or are they just blissfully unaware of how the warmth may feel? I guess they must be aware about how the warmth may feel, how beautiful the bloomed flowers and the sweet fruits may smell, how beautifully the birds may sing and the warmth of the tropical sunshine may feel.

Let’s take for example someone who has been forever been in tropical regions and is unaware of a place like Polar Regions. Let us say the person’s name is W. So W has been in tropical regions all the while where it enjoys the sunshine, the rains and the mildly pleasant winters as well. W is used to seeing the dense green forests, hearing the chirping of the birds every morning, the sweet taste of the fruits the trees bear and the sight of the radiantly colourful flowers.

W was gradually being pushed to the colder regions from the tropical regions without it realizing so. While W was unaware that the path it has taken is leading it to the cold, there was another someone named C, who belonged to the colder regions but had once been to the tropical regions. So, W was on its way to the Polar Regions but the change was so gradual that W was actually enjoying the journey from warmth to the cold.

The picture changed but very slowly for W to not realize where it was heading as it was going in that direction for the first time as against C. Eventually W reached the Polar Regions and since it was a complete change in scenery it actually enjoyed the change. The snow, however cold it was, looked beautiful and gleaming and W was soon lost in the beauty of it. Incidentally W reached the Polar region when they were enjoying the best of weather there and so W assumed that the weather remains such for the entire time.

W was enjoying the cool as against the constant warmth of the tropic; the seclusion from the world was playing to the advantage of its mental health. Time and tide waits for none and so the weather of the tropic started going towards the winters. W soon realized that the days are getting shorter only to realize that there will be darkness half year round in this part of the world which it had never seen. Finally W gave in to the cold winter only to realize how beautiful the part of the world in which it lived was.

W learned a lesson the hard way that we may not be entirely happy with our own world, there are other parts of the world where someone else was is in darkness for what may seem like infinity and went back to the warmth.

On the other side there is C which primarily belonged to the Polar Region. C had been leading a life braving extreme weathers all thru and it was used to harshest of the weathers. C had once crossed over to the greener side by the way of luck. C initially refused to accept that there can be some place on earth with such abundance and its mind just could not digest the beautiful colours, the sweet smelling flowers and fruits and the ever chirping birds. All this seems superficial to C who was used to seeing the beautiful but cold snow which had its own colours and the darkness that engulfed their world for half of the year. C enjoyed the tropical forests but always thought of it as superficial and lived in awe and amazement.

C was pushed back to the Polar Regions from the tropical regions suddenly one fine day during its first visit to the tropical forests. C returned to its original world and continued to brave the harsh weather and live a content life. C also enjoyed the comparatively pleasant weather but never took it for granted. Struggle was taken as a part and parcel of life and seldom was complained about.

Unlike the first time, when C went to the tropics incidentally, it voluntarily walked over to the tropics this time to enjoy the greenery, fruits and flowers. C had its doubts about the tropics being superficial and untrue but was tempted to walk over to the other side nevertheless. Initially, C was welcomed into the tropics and enjoyed the sunshine, the warmth and the flora with thinned down inhibitions deep down in its mind. The flowers looked brighter and the fruits smelled and tasted sweeter this time around. C started depending too much on the tropics to provide whatever it wished and the dependence grew by the day since the tropic was able to provide most of the things C wished for. The greenery and the abundance had started blinding C and the memories of the struggle back in the pole starting wearing out. The nagging doubt of the tropics being superficial watered down to the thinnest this time but remained. C decided to enjoy the weather and the flowers and fruits till it lasted.

Little did C know that the end to this was coming sooner than expected. Soon C was made aware by itself that the warmth was not for it and it had to return to the harsh winters of the pole. The easy prosperity was not something that was made for C and it had to fight for its own survival. As against the first time, C had formed and built a world full of expectations around the tropics which was exactly opposite to the life at the Polar Regions. The Polar Regions with the extreme weather made C value even the minutest things which it took for granted in the Tropical regions. The world of the expectations shattered and C was pushed back to the Polar Regions with a jerk.

While in the Polar Regions, W learned that we should count our blessings, C learned not to build a world of expectations on external factors and that one should build a world by itself with its own struggle while in the Tropical Regions. Life will teach us such lessons when we cross over to the other part of the world, the point is to not take anything for granted and to not but expectations on easy things. Some people are built to live in the abundance of tropics while others are built to struggle for their existence!

 

 

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Happy Birthday to Me!

I write this post while I am in midst of receiving lots and lots of wishes and blessings. Yes it is my birthday today! Had it been a year before, I would have been with a sorry face sitting in one corner of my office or a corner at my home, believe it or not.

It is true that birthdays mean different thing to different people and for me, for the past 6-7 years it meant a chore. A chore that had to be done, “thank yous” to be said and fake smiles to be flaunted since I used to be eternally sad and lie in self pity. Sorry to sound nasty, but questions like why was I born and why did I come to this world and what the hell am I doing used to trouble me immensely. I used to actually cry on all my birthdays for the past few years.

But this year has been contrastingly different and how! This year I feel happy on my birthday and feel that I want to live life to fullest. This year I actually feel blessed to receive the wishes and blessings from friends and families. I appreciate that they have spared time to wish me in whatever way possible and took efforts to make me feel special on my birthday. Receiving wishes and blessings is not a chore this year and most importantly I am not questioning my existence anymore!

I am happy with myself in all ways may it be emotional, physical, psychological or spiritual. I am happy that there are people for whom I really mean something and they are happy to have them in my life and those people are non other than my beloved friends! Parents fall in a different category sine they love us no matter what. When I receive a phone call or a whatsapp message or a text message I actually feel special. May be its the magic of the number 31 😀

On this birthday I do not feel that I have failed myself on the contrary I feel I have won in quiet a lot of situations. I feel I have conducted myself extremely well in crisis situation both in my personal and professional life. There have been so many downs than ups in my life but with God’s grace there have been always the super support systems named friends! They have always been around taking my tantrums, showering me with praises, patting my back when I do something good and also giving me an earful when I do something wrong.

The celebration began with this cake!
The celebration began with this cake!

On this birthday I choose to count my blessings. When I take a closer look around I feel that I am blessed in several ways than some of the less fortunate, by saying this I do not mean to demean anyone but I can’t really help but think this way. I might sound a bit materialistic by saying this, but with blessings I mean a comfortable home to reside, a cupboard full of clothes (err..  I am having a tough time to fit them in one cupboard, but let’s not get to that 😛 ) and several other things. Above all, I have my parents(however eccentric at times that they are) but yes I have them in reasonably good health and how many ever difference of opinions that we have I truly and unconditionally love then for who they are and for being around when I needed them.

On this birthday I believe is I have made peace with myself and this I think is because I am happy with myself. So this birthday I vow to forgive myself completely and permanently for all the mistakes that I have done in the past. I vow that I will take conscious effort to not let them trouble me anymore in the future and also not to repeat them again consciously. I vow to remain happy and try and keep the people happy who really matter to me. I vow to keep myself away from people who are not good for my emotional and psychological well being. I vow to keep myself physically and emotionally healthy but not letting external factors affect my health. I vow to travel light by leaving the emotional baggage behind and carry only important and positive things with me! 😉

So the birthday celebrations started yesterday when some of my special friends meet and gave me a pleasant surprise by getting a cake. It made me so very happy.

So I really, from the bottom of my heart want to thank all my friends and mom & dad for making me the person I am!

When obsession turns to neutrality

Off late I feel that I have become neutral to lot of things that I was obsessed about earlier. Actually obsession is a small word, do not know if there is a graver word for obsession, so intense it was that it led me to depression, several out bursts and not to mention tearful conversations. The tears threatened to well up in eyes at the slightest of provocation.

Things have changed now and I do not know yet for good or for bad. For example there were times, when someone pointed out my inefficiency even if there was none; there would be sleepless nights, bouts of frustration and again tearful eyes at the drop of a hat. Secondly, unreasonable behaviour from people would provoke my anger with such ease that it lead to regret later. Some things not happening, projects not getting completed at work or at home, parents behaving in unreasonable manner, anything at all would annoy me to no extent.

Now things are completely different, there is acceptance that things are going to be the way they are and that the best has to be done from my side. People and things have to be put with the way they are and workarounds needs to be developed around them. The realization has struck me that my mental peace and well being is above all and this has to be achieved by keeping calm internally while there is absolute chaos outside. I do not have sleepless nights any more, fountains of frustrations from inside me are coming out with less frequently and tears have somehow vanished! They come out only when I allow them to.

This I feel has happened because I do not let things affect me as they would. It may mean several things, like going easy on life, or may be the importance of that thing has reduced, or may be it just doesn’t matter what happens! Some things hurt less now than before, people behaving in a certain manner are a given and have to be dealt with as they are. Things and people going out of life is a matter of fact and has to be taken with a pinch of salt. Sometimes it makes me feel have become less sensitive but this belief shatters (thank God!) in some situations. I go back to being my grouchy, frustrating, tear bearing face self, but again the frequency has reduced. It takes extreme emotions or situations to bring this out.

Honestly I have never been a go getter in my life, I like to take things easy and let them fall in their places at their own pace. Some may term me lethargic but I am completely ok with that. While I do not wait for things to come to me but I walk towards them at my own will and wish. The conflict of my mind and heart is reduced leaps and bounds.

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I started writing this post on 21st May (yes there are lots of draft and incomplete posts in my kitty 😦 ). While I was busy believing that nothing affects me now which is apparent from the above paragraphs, Karma grinned evilly and gave me situations where all the above beliefs about me shattered to pieces. Yes some people, things and situations still affect me and worse than earlier. Life and karma showed it to me in the cruellest way possible. And here I am, 2 months later, brooding over a thing on which I also talked about in this <post>.