I write this post while I am in midst of receiving lots and lots of wishes and blessings. Yes it is my birthday today! Had it been a year before, I would have been with a sorry face sitting in one corner of my office or a corner at my home, believe it or not.
It is true that birthdays mean different thing to different people and for me, for the past 6-7 years it meant a chore. A chore that had to be done, “thank yous” to be said and fake smiles to be flaunted since I used to be eternally sad and lie in self pity. Sorry to sound nasty, but questions like why was I born and why did I come to this world and what the hell am I doing used to trouble me immensely. I used to actually cry on all my birthdays for the past few years.
But this year has been contrastingly different and how! This year I feel happy on my birthday and feel that I want to live life to fullest. This year I actually feel blessed to receive the wishes and blessings from friends and families. I appreciate that they have spared time to wish me in whatever way possible and took efforts to make me feel special on my birthday. Receiving wishes and blessings is not a chore this year and most importantly I am not questioning my existence anymore!
I am happy with myself in all ways may it be emotional, physical, psychological or spiritual. I am happy that there are people for whom I really mean something and they are happy to have them in my life and those people are non other than my beloved friends! Parents fall in a different category sine they love us no matter what. When I receive a phone call or a whatsapp message or a text message I actually feel special. May be its the magic of the number 31 😀
On this birthday I do not feel that I have failed myself on the contrary I feel I have won in quiet a lot of situations. I feel I have conducted myself extremely well in crisis situation both in my personal and professional life. There have been so many downs than ups in my life but with God’s grace there have been always the super support systems named friends! They have always been around taking my tantrums, showering me with praises, patting my back when I do something good and also giving me an earful when I do something wrong.
On this birthday I choose to count my blessings. When I take a closer look around I feel that I am blessed in several ways than some of the less fortunate, by saying this I do not mean to demean anyone but I can’t really help but think this way. I might sound a bit materialistic by saying this, but with blessings I mean a comfortable home to reside, a cupboard full of clothes (err.. I am having a tough time to fit them in one cupboard, but let’s not get to that 😛 ) and several other things. Above all, I have my parents(however eccentric at times that they are) but yes I have them in reasonably good health and how many ever difference of opinions that we have I truly and unconditionally love then for who they are and for being around when I needed them.
On this birthday I believe is I have made peace with myself and this I think is because I am happy with myself. So this birthday I vow to forgive myself completely and permanently for all the mistakes that I have done in the past. I vow that I will take conscious effort to not let them trouble me anymore in the future and also not to repeat them again consciously. I vow to remain happy and try and keep the people happy who really matter to me. I vow to keep myself away from people who are not good for my emotional and psychological well being. I vow to keep myself physically and emotionally healthy but not letting external factors affect my health. I vow to travel light by leaving the emotional baggage behind and carry only important and positive things with me! 😉
So the birthday celebrations started yesterday when some of my special friends meet and gave me a pleasant surprise by getting a cake. It made me so very happy.
So I really, from the bottom of my heart want to thank all my friends and mom & dad for making me the person I am!