Maturity

People say maturity comes with age and with experience but this law seems to defy me in my personal life, I am forever confused and confounded. It’s not like getting lost in a maze where I do not where to go and am directionless, it’s that there are 2 or 3 forked roads in front of me with known destinations and I do not know which one to take. I stand on that forked road for so long and waste so much time thinking that I am ultimately left with no time to enjoy the road or the destination.

This has happened to me several times, I thought and thought and thought and took a road only to realise that it was the wrong one. The destination was something I knew but did not expect it to be. Sometimes so tired was I of thinking that I randomly took a road out of sheer exhaustion of thinking. How does one decide which road is right and which one is wrong or how to decide whether which person to choose? I have written about it in post about getting priorities wrong but how many times I do not know till yet.

As opposite to the things mentioned above, I am sure about things when it comes to work. I get priorities right most of the times, the intuitions are right too and I end up becoming a winner. Sometimes my decisions go wrong but I have observed that it is only because my lack of research. The failure is completely ability based and has nothing do with anything else.

Sometimes I just wish and pray that God Almighty give me the maturity to get my priorities right and invest in right kind of people. When I look back, I see so many mistakes it makes me feel like killing myself over it. I end up thinking how the hell did I let it happen. Life would have been so easy, beautiful and so less unbearable had I not taken the decision or had I not behaved that way then.

Another thing that I feel I do and I have mentioned earlier that I either look too far ahead or I look back and then I stumble on something and fall flat on my face. And then I cry and wail and blame god and think why me? I guess we all have this phase in life but I am suffering this blast from the past a bit too much these days.

Anyways I feel I am just blabbering away to glory I will stop here. Thank you for reading the rant if you have managed to reach here. 😀

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